On Wednesday, October 16, 2024, we lost our mom, Joan Reed, she was 80 years old. Like my dad, she had dementia, but not nearly as advanced. We moved her to North Carolina in August to be near my sister, Christine.
Her Alzheimer’s Journey was very different than my dad’s. She was diagnosed in 2020 and initially understood the diagnosis – she was understandably terrified. After about 3 weeks she decided the neurologist was wrong (and not nice) and that it was just stress from the Covid lockdown.
As her children, we didn't have the learning curve that we did with our father.
Once we knew what was coming we got into gear. We created a shared GoogleDrive to put legal and medical documents as well as notes about behavior changes, etc. in one place that the 3 of us could access. We knew not to question her but to go along with he reality and understanding of facts as they changed and evolved.
Knowing what to do didn't make it any easier.
We also knew what was coming and we were terrified. Would we really have to go through the years and years of slowly losing her, trying to adapt to her care needs as they changed. Would she forget our names as our dad had done for the last 2 years of his life?
In her final weeks she was very aware of her diagnosis and said her biggest fear was that she would forget who we were and decline slowly as my dad had. We take comfort in knowing she got her wish – knowing who we all were and enjoying her great grandson (19 months old) days before she died.
My mom made sure life was fun and full of adventure. She was my first call for advice or to share good news. She taught me to be independent and believed I could do whatever I put my mind to. She was always there to encourage, help and support all 3 of her kids, 5 grandkids, 2 son in laws, 1 daughter in law and 1 great grandson.
She lived an amazing life of adventure, love and laughter. A few of her last words were “go – live your life” – great advice for all of us as no one knows how long they will have. She will be sorely missed.
