When a loved one has dementia or Alzheimer’s, there will be tears. You will grieve as you watch them slip away before your eyes. You will be sad for the future you thought you would have that will never be. You will at times feel helpless, hopeless, angry, bewildered, and overwhelmed… There will also be times of peace, of being present and noticing the little things that would have passed you by if life was the same as it used to be. You will have moments of surrender – when you realize that you can’t change or control this disease but you can decide whether it or you will control your emotions and your reaction to it.
So, so many feelings… like waves in the ocean, coming and going and coming again.
The time to plan is between the tears… in the peaceful moments of clarity and surrender. When you can turn off the emotion and let logic and reason take the wheel. THIS is when you will make your best decisions – the ones that you will feel good about not riddled with guilt later, when it’s too late to make a new choice. This is when families can have the tough talks, make the hard choices, look at the ugly underbelly of what they will face…
I have been where you are. I have felt these things and I have created some strategies to balance living and caregiving.
Get a copy of my book (it’s on Amazon – in print and Kindle formats) because you don’t have to go through this alone!